Well Lovely, Nothing Like Crawling Under the Bathroom Stall!

Today is Marc's birthday so Mer and I went and picked him up for lunch.

After a successful lunch with no fits, no major spills, no huge power struggles Marc and I are thinking we are home free...woohoo...wrong bucko!

Mer said, I need to potty.

I looked at Marc...we'll meet up with you outside the bathroom.

Off we go, Mer and I...had a great lunch, goin' to the potty, just gonna be a minute...yep, all is good!

She has to go in her own stall and has for a long time now.

I go in my stall, do my business and am waiting for her by the sink.

Me: Mer, are you done?

Mer: Nope!

Me: Whatcha' doin?

Mer: Pooping!

Me: You almost done?

Mer: No Way

Me: Oh, do you have a lot left?

Mer: I don't know yet

Me: Ok

In walks a young girl, I'd say mid 20's who wanted to know how old Mer was, and told me all about her brothers and sisters, etc.

Mer: Mom, is that you talking?

Me: Yes

Mer: Who are you talking to?

Me: A Lady

Mer: Why are you talking to a stranger?

Me: Mer, honey...just finish up your business...are you done yet?

Mer: Nope

Me: Almost done?

Mer: Don't know yet

Me: Sighs really loud

The lady says, good luck and leaves

Mer: Mom, are you still here?

Me: Yes, Mer. Are you done now?

Mer: No, I have 4 rows of poop in the potty now and more is coming!

Me: You counted your poop?

Mer: Yes, Mom...I have a lot.

Me: Ok, well finish up.

In walks yet another lady asking me how old Mer is and told me about her kids.

Mer: Mom, you talking to *another* stranger?

Me: Yes, Mer...are you done?

Mer: No, I told you I had 4 rows of poop and more is coming down.

Me: I wish I had known about this large poop, I would have brought a book to read.

The lady walks out of the bathroom laughing, wishing me luck.

I don't need luck, I need my kid to be finished pooping so I can get out of this tiny bathroom that I've over inspected every inch of.

Mer: Mom?

Me: Yes, you're done?

Mer: I think it's done coming out.

Me: Thank God

Mer: I thank him every day for my food.

Me: I'm glad Mer, now open the door.

Mer: Rattles the lock...rattles it some more...and some more...Mom

Me: Yes

Mer: I can't open it

Me: You're kidding, right?

Mer: Nope!

Me: Oh Great

Mer: It is, that's good Mommy

Me: No honey, it's not great...Mommy was just being sarcastic.

Mer: What's sarcastic?

Me: Forget it Mer

Mer: Forget what Mom

Me: Nothing Mer

Mer: Laughs

Ok, so I've been in the bathroom for freakin' ever by now! I'm hot, irritated and could have finished my book at the slow rate that she poops and now I've got to crawl on the floor to unlock the stall.

So I'm just hoping that no one walks in because here I am, laid out on the floor sliding myself underneath the stall door to release my 3 year old who has now lost stall rights until she's about 10!

What a moment!

Where's Marc, in the comfy SUV playing a game on his PDA and checking sports scores every now and again on it too...what a life he's got!

Me...4 rows of poop and crawling on the floor
Him...Games on the PDA and Sports Scores

posted by Angie @ 10/15/2004 04:19:19 PM